wishes and curses

Okay, Why the Thanksgiving title you ask? Because it is completed. Done. Over. As the big JC once said "It is finished." Of course, I'm not capable of saving you all by dying, and I'm not sure I would anyway, but no, I am not talking about kicking the bucket. I am talking about M*A*S*H. Yes, people, the play I loved and longed for and worked at and then started to hate and then loved again is finished. We had all 4 shows this weekend, and now I know why people get paid to act because it KICKS YOUR @$$!!! Now, having said that, it was wonderful. The show went off pretty much without a hitch, I only screwed up once or twice, and the audience was none the wiser, thanks to my brilliant co-stars, and the Ph, although he hated wearing stage make-up, was really, REALLY good. Especially for an amateur. And while there is always sadness at the end of a show, because you are going to miss seeing these people with whom you have spent 15 hours a week for the past 3 months, there is relief. And that is where the Thanksgiving comes in. Because today, I give you my top five reasons I am thankful (at this moment):

1. I get to go home to my family each evening- There is nothing that is more tiring than having to go get your boys from school, go home, change, and immediately leave to go to practice. It makes you feel as if the whole day, you haven't stopped. And there were days that I saw my boys for maybe 2 hours total. No exaggeration. So, I am thankful to see my family again.

2. I have some of the best friends in the world- Not only did so many of my friends come and see the play, but so many called, or emailed or left messages and kept me in the loop for the last 6 months (2 plays back to back will do that) with very little reciprocation on my part. I love them all for loving me no matter how flaky I have been. Having said that, Tasha- time for my sorry butt to start making that trek to Gold's with you, Jill- when are we having lunch, Richelle- Stop laughing, we aren't having lunch no matter how many times you ask, but I will have dinner with you anytime we can get a moment, Coolwhack- I miss Screamer and the Big Head- I'll bring you chick-fil-A or Arby's, just tell me when.

3. I learned to let things go- One of the brilliant women mentioned above (richelle) sent me this this a.m., and it was perfect for me this week: "I crouched in the doorway of the airplane next to my skydiving coach. I held on to the doorway with my right hand for balance. With my left hand, I firmly grasped my coach's gripper, a padded piece of cloth on his jumpsuit.
It was up to me to give the count. "Ready, set. . ." I heard a snicker. "Get out of the plane," someone hollered. "Go." I released my grip on the door, closed my eyes, and dived headfirst into the air with my left hand firmly attached to my jump master's gripper. I was falling stable and holding on with both hands. He nodded, giving me my cue to let go.
I shook my head no. He looked confused, then nodded again.
I shook my head again, clinging more tightly.
It was almost time to pull. I released my grips. I just let go. It was time to save my own life. My coach backed away.
I signaled, and then pulled my ripcord. My parachute made that sweet whooshing sound, the one I had come to identify as the sound it makes when it opens correctly and fills with air, slowing my fall into a float.
Wow! I thought. This is really fun!
Sometimes we're so scared, all we can think to do is hang on. Hanging on in this case was a silly illusion. We were both falling through the air. Holding on to a relationship that's not working, a negative self-image, a job that isn't working, moments and times that have passed, or emotions such as fear and hurt can be silly illusion, too. To save our own lives, sometimes we have to let go first." This is so valuable. We hold onto things we think are so important, never realizing they are plunging us to earth so fast. I love what I learned from this.

4. I get to cook again- Some people hate cooking dinner. Some people flat out refuse to. For the most part, I love to. And for the last half a year, I haven't been able to cook like I wanted to, so I am so glad I get to cook for me, for my family, and for my piece of mind. It's all about that creative process that makes me feel centered and normal. Cooking really does nourish my soul, not just feed my hunger, and I love that.

5. Summer routine is about to begin- We all go swimming in the evenings, frequently with Brownie-loo and the Frudog and their beautiful girls. The days stretch out longer, so there seems to be more time. I play basketball with Dakota. Riley snuggles with me on the couch. In summer, we all seem to exhale, and be content with the low hum of crickets and katy-dids outside the windows, and the entertainment of bubbles floating on air currents. Summertime is the time when my family is the closest to perfect I could ever imagine. And it's all right around the corner.

I promise I'm not taking any other medication than I normally do. I swear. I've just come to realize how truly charmed my life seems to be right now. And I may have just jinxed it, but that's okay. Somehow, I think it'll all be fine.