wishes and curses

We’re down to the last moments of the show, the tension is high, and I am out of tivo fast forward time. And then, right as Seacrest goes to announce who the last guy to leave the show is- *bong* Delete this recording now? Don’t delete this recording now?

WHAT!?!?! Are you kidding me? This is no Ryan’s version of we’ll see you after the break. This is downright the rest of your tivo recorded program has ceased to exist. “Ph! What the hell happened to the rest of AI?!” I enquire oh so lovingly of my husband who just stayed home with our precious lovely children so I could go to dinner with a girlfriend. “What do you mean?” “It’s gone!!! The last three minutes of the show are just GONE!!!!!” “Oh,” he replied non-plussed “I let the boys have the remote so they could watch cartoons. They must have messed up the Tivo.” He then went back to the annihilation of some level 52 frogs or worm or something on EverCrack II. As I lay prone on the couch, agonizing over who may have just gotten the boot, and knowing I would have to wait until today to red Sassy’s post, (being diligently written by TheMikeStand this week), I pondered all the ruined moments that have happened since I had children and a husband. What moments you ask? Well, let’s give you the top five ruined moments:

1. Mother’s Day- I don’t expect a ton, maybe a homemade card or a small bouquet. but when my 6 year old asks me for the money to buy my own mother’s day gift, telling me “Daddy said he was working late so I should ask you to take me and RiRi shopping.”, it makes me wonder if they really have any idea that the fun thing about a gift is the not knowing what the gift is, much less, having to pay for it.
   
2. Waking up- Now, this, perhaps, is a bit overdramatic, but when you are never allowed to just wake up, but are always awakened by the yelling, or the poking, or the requesting of something, you really get annoyed that you never seem to just wake up anymore. I would like, just once, to be in my own bed, and just…wake up. Not have to pour the milk because the jug is heavy. Not have to mediate an argument over who gets to play Pac-Man world, and who gets to watch Power Rangers. I’d like to just wake up, and realize that no one woke me up.
   
3. Sex- The hunky Ph has not ruined this, let me clear this up right now. The children- the satan spawn with sexual esp have ruined this. Without a doubt, when the Ph and I have a quiet moment- the boys are upstairs playing nicely, no phone ringing, no computer games- and we are starting to hear Barry White playing in the background, we’ll sneak quietly to any room in our house with a lock on the door, and begin to… get acquainted… and before the underwear gets off (or even pushed aside!!) you see fingers sticking through the crack under the door, “hey mama- whatchoo doin’ in dere?” They know when sex is happening, and they are so against having any other siblings, their mission in life is to thwart it. They are have succeeded thus far.
   
4. Vacations- I love going on vacations with my boys. We have a wonderful time. I love how excited they get about anything new. Their wonder and awe is an inspiration to me to live each day, each moment, looking at things like they are brand new. But now, I can’t go anywhere for more than a couple of days without them, because I get miserable, and my heart aches that they are not there driving me insane. I am oh so pathetic….
   
5. Photos- Because no picture I can take (and I’m a pretty good amateur photographer) captures any of these amazing men in my life in the way I see them. The Ph hates photos, so there are only one or two that really freeze him in time, with his expression showing that emotion he was feeling right before he got annoyed that I was holding a camera. The boys are always just a blur, or else they are cheesy grinning for the camera. My favorite photos of Riri were taken by Dakota, when I let him have my camera one day, and he just took photos of what he thought was good. I’ll post his photo album one day (when I figure out how to upload photos.) These men will only be captured in their truest form in my mind. I’ll have to hold out hope that I can always hold those mental images clearly. They all pass so quickly.
   
   So, ruined. Moments, so fleeting, all ruined by these… boys.
   
   Thank God.