4077th
Auditions last night. That electric charge, the nervous feeling in your stomach, the painful watching-a-car-wreck moment when someone auditioning messes up, and the self-loathing-hatred you feel for just an instance that you're glad they did, because, dammitt, that part needs to be yours. Theatre, acting, performing in general is a very selfish activity. There is a lot of self-analyzation, self-evaluation, and personal critique involved with the process. For me, this is an indulgence. I really don't like to think about me that much. I would rather muse about what music some obscure Brit-punk band might be coming up with, or what John Cusack is doing right now, or if I'm thinking about me, generally, it's about broader things, like what I'm going to eat for lunch, or do I have to go by the store on my way home. Well, last night, I did a lot of thinking about why i want this role in this play so badly. And I came up with an answer I'm not sure I like. On the one hand, my answer can be seen as sweet- a salute to someone special, but on the other hand.... she has warts. (sorry, something my mom used to say). On the other hand, I don't like that my motivation for this is not the shear passion for the role. You see, the play is M*A*S*H. If you were deprived of television as a child, and lack culture in any form and don't know the story line, this is the story of a group of Surgeons, some drafted, some regular Army, working in a field hospital during the Korean War. They are a motley crew, and range from very by the book, to fly by the seat of your pants. Anyway- I watched this television show as a child, and I watched the movie when I was old enough to rent it and my mother not think I was going to hell because they swore occasionally, and the whole Hot Lips in the shower scene. Bear in mind, I am not a huge war show/ war movie buff. But I've seen every episode of the tv show. So when I was trying to suss out why I was so intent on winning this role (other than my inherent competitive nature) I was driven to look at why I had watched every episode of this show, and I realized, it was Daddy.
He and I never saw eye to eye. We still don't. He was hard on all of us growing up. He yelled a ton. About things you weren't expecting, which made your stomach tense up, and your shoulders get all knotty anytime he came home from work. You were always waiting on the other foot to fall. But- there were shows and movies that were safe havens from that. He loved good movies- had worked at a theatre in high school, before he dropped out and joined the Army- so when one of our 4 (sometimes, on a clear day 5) channels picked up a good movie (usually TBS- Channel 17) he would sit back in his recliner, and for that 2 hour span, you were clear to walk into the room, sit on the couch, and just watch TV with him. No yelling at you to do something, get some sort of work done, quit wasting time, and yes 'burning daylight'. There was nothing but the characters, and the TV, and you two. M*A*S*H was one of those shows. And so, I'm afraid that part of me wants to have this role, and perform it well, so that when he sees it, it will make him happy. And I think that makes me a littlew bit sad. But- it also gave me a good idea for a top five. So today's Top Five: shows that remind me of Daddy:
1. The Andy Griffith Show: Daddy looks like a cross between John Wayne and Andy Griffith. He whistles through his teeth. He reminds me in general of Andy Griffith when he's in a good mood. Plus, he always loved this show.
2. MacGyver: This was the first show, that Daddy watched at my request. I had a HUGE crush on Richard Dean Anderson (still do). I knew nothing of the show, except that when I saw the advertisements for it before it came on, I knew I wanted to watch that bomber jacket wearing man for an hour. So we did, and it turned out to be this great show, it sparked an interest in science for me, it made me be creative, and I became more sexually aware (I still thought he was hot- I just found out he was hot AND smart). And daddy liked the show. I think he was surprised that he did.
3. M*A*S*H: I think Daddy thought it was a little too much for me at first. I think he thought I would pick up on the adult themes (I didn't, until much later). I just liked little Radar O'Reilly with his teddy bear, and Klinger with the dresses, and that Father Mulcahey was secretly the funniest one on there. And Margaret, and how she was the butt of so many pranks, and jokes, but she always had a comeback. I liked this show.
4. Cheers: I don't know what appealed to Daddy about this show, and I wasn't allowed to watch it until it moved to Fridays, because it came on at 9:00, which was past my bedtime. But we laughed at Norm and Cliff, and later at Woody. I still love the way this show felt like family.
5. The A-Team: This was a combined attack. Cathy and I watched the A-Team every week. We had cammo clothes and acted out our own versions of the episodes in the woods that we grew up in. We spied on neighbors with binoculars, we built forts, I was always Murdock, and she switched back and forth between Face and Hannibal. She could say 'I love it when a plan comes together' better than anyone in the world, and probably still can. Since we lived at each others homes in the summers (just a quick run down the short-cut) our families had no choice but to give in and let us have the TV for that time. After all, we had company!! Daddy watched this with us, calling her 'leggs' (pronuonced laiggs), and calling both of us 'gal', and then kicking us out of the living room when it was over, so he could watch some documentary or Austin City Limits on PBS.
So my real dilemma here is to decide whether it is good and honorable that I want to do this for Daddy, or whether it's sad and pathetic that I don't just want it for me. I'll have to think on that.
He and I never saw eye to eye. We still don't. He was hard on all of us growing up. He yelled a ton. About things you weren't expecting, which made your stomach tense up, and your shoulders get all knotty anytime he came home from work. You were always waiting on the other foot to fall. But- there were shows and movies that were safe havens from that. He loved good movies- had worked at a theatre in high school, before he dropped out and joined the Army- so when one of our 4 (sometimes, on a clear day 5) channels picked up a good movie (usually TBS- Channel 17) he would sit back in his recliner, and for that 2 hour span, you were clear to walk into the room, sit on the couch, and just watch TV with him. No yelling at you to do something, get some sort of work done, quit wasting time, and yes 'burning daylight'. There was nothing but the characters, and the TV, and you two. M*A*S*H was one of those shows. And so, I'm afraid that part of me wants to have this role, and perform it well, so that when he sees it, it will make him happy. And I think that makes me a littlew bit sad. But- it also gave me a good idea for a top five. So today's Top Five: shows that remind me of Daddy:
1. The Andy Griffith Show: Daddy looks like a cross between John Wayne and Andy Griffith. He whistles through his teeth. He reminds me in general of Andy Griffith when he's in a good mood. Plus, he always loved this show.
2. MacGyver: This was the first show, that Daddy watched at my request. I had a HUGE crush on Richard Dean Anderson (still do). I knew nothing of the show, except that when I saw the advertisements for it before it came on, I knew I wanted to watch that bomber jacket wearing man for an hour. So we did, and it turned out to be this great show, it sparked an interest in science for me, it made me be creative, and I became more sexually aware (I still thought he was hot- I just found out he was hot AND smart). And daddy liked the show. I think he was surprised that he did.
3. M*A*S*H: I think Daddy thought it was a little too much for me at first. I think he thought I would pick up on the adult themes (I didn't, until much later). I just liked little Radar O'Reilly with his teddy bear, and Klinger with the dresses, and that Father Mulcahey was secretly the funniest one on there. And Margaret, and how she was the butt of so many pranks, and jokes, but she always had a comeback. I liked this show.
4. Cheers: I don't know what appealed to Daddy about this show, and I wasn't allowed to watch it until it moved to Fridays, because it came on at 9:00, which was past my bedtime. But we laughed at Norm and Cliff, and later at Woody. I still love the way this show felt like family.
5. The A-Team: This was a combined attack. Cathy and I watched the A-Team every week. We had cammo clothes and acted out our own versions of the episodes in the woods that we grew up in. We spied on neighbors with binoculars, we built forts, I was always Murdock, and she switched back and forth between Face and Hannibal. She could say 'I love it when a plan comes together' better than anyone in the world, and probably still can. Since we lived at each others homes in the summers (just a quick run down the short-cut) our families had no choice but to give in and let us have the TV for that time. After all, we had company!! Daddy watched this with us, calling her 'leggs' (pronuonced laiggs), and calling both of us 'gal', and then kicking us out of the living room when it was over, so he could watch some documentary or Austin City Limits on PBS.
So my real dilemma here is to decide whether it is good and honorable that I want to do this for Daddy, or whether it's sad and pathetic that I don't just want it for me. I'll have to think on that.
Ah, I see. You know, some say there are no coincidences. ;)
We're M*A*S*H sisters!
Posted by
Babs |
2:20 PM
M*A*S*H was a dad thing for me, too. By the time I was 12 (1985), I'd seen them all and could quote from most of them. Drove my mother nuts. My father would tape them; so much so that he had dozens of VHS tapes filled with M*A*S*H episodes, sans commericials. My third year of university I had no cable. I used to watch M*A*S*H exclusively.
Hmm...more like a blog-entry waiting to happen. Thanks for the blogspiration :D Hope you get the part.
Posted by
themikestand |
8:37 AM